A Well-Toiled Machine

What do we, as Humans of New York, have in common with our brethren Machines of New Torque?  It would seem nothing but a forced rhyme on the surface.  Nonetheless, recent events have led me to liken certain human mindsets to the dispassionate vibe of the robot.

Contrary to popular belief, there's a reason we don't go "bee-boop" and prance around in titanium stockings.  It's because we advantage creativity and nuance in a world we could so easily charge with banality and blind compliance.  Most of us have the soundness of mind to regard the Earth as neither the pinnacle of immutable social deviance nor as a self-serving bastion catered to our individual desires.  Instead, we operate under a belief of shared burden of our human wrongs, and therefore, shared gratification of our human rights.

And most importantly, we take necessary time to breathe and relax, two verbs that robots can never truly effectuate no matter how comprehensive their programming.  The problem arises when we start to treat ourselves (whether consciously or not) as less than worthy of simple human rewards--of simple human healing, for that matter.  We severely limit our unique capabilities as unpredictable, beautifully fallible, downright revolutionary beings when we downgrade our refueling methods to those of a robot, which basically consist of powering off for indefinite periods, until a superior being recharges us.  Despite what our sixth grade math teachers told us, my friends, we are the superior beings.

This week has been a particularly tumultuous one for me, what with three oral presentations and a Teach for America application deadline to boot.  (And, yes, I realize it's only Wednesday.)  My procrastination reached a point of seemingly no return, as I traded in sleep and mental stability for good grades and an unholy alliance with red Gatorade.

Now, I would be remiss if I said this decision wasn't at least partially worth it.  In light of the high priority I place on full satisfaction with my work, I am positive a disregard for my academic duties in favor of behavioral normativity would have left me in a far worse position.  That doesn't mean, however, that the stigma we place on all nighters is completely unfounded either.  Some routine and scheduling is good for the soul in that it offsets our sporadic thoughts and wavering emotions.  I more than anyone I know value the peace and elevated functioning that can spring from pure organization.  But I also know how much of my uniquely erratic, passionate, whole-hearted aspirations result from exactly the type of imperfection that my humanity allows me, and I wouldn't sacrifice that for all the x-ray vision and flashy buttons in the world.

Live long and finish strong,
Amanda :)

Jacket: Mango (old).  Jeans: Gap (old).  Shoes: Banana Republic.

All photos by Alex Zhu.

Above the Sway

Amidst an incessant quest for likes, retweets, favorites, and hypes, it's easy to imagine a modern world in which we all take ourselves and each other a bit too seriously.  But is it easy to justify this lifestyle?

I'm as guilty of this practice as anyone.  If Facebook and Twitter have taught us anything, it's that there's at least one person out there who will find your most recent paper cut a cute and charming anecdote rather than a frivolous and pitiful demonstration of delicacy, a label to which my grandparents would most likely cling.

While most of us don't go so far as to document every hair on our chinny chin chins, we do often treat something as minuscule as last night's ravioli as if it's a masterpiece worthy of universal reverence.  Now, this is not to say such amusement is completely unwarranted or reprehensible in the least.  The problem in my mind lies in society's blind acceptance of an unnecessary reality.

How, you might ask, can I critique the web so harshly when the mere existence of my *blog* would be impossible without the very platform on which all social media rests?  Well, I'm not going to argue that the internet doesn't possess a host of unprecedented networking and sharing opportunities.  What I will maintain is that humanity has fallen, if subconsciously and/or half-heartedly, into a trap of inundation rather than of flotation.  What I mean by this is, we should not feel as though we have to post duck faces or blatant expressions of inadequacy every day in order to feel beautiful and wanted.  On the contrary, we should open up social media as we would a mailbox--something of occasional pleasure or benefit--rather than as we would a refrigerator--something that feeds our survival.

If you truly enjoy creating tiny microcosm upon microcosm of your life on the web, then by all means, do so.  The materials are right there at your disposal.  But please, realize that moderation and disassociation are entirely in your power if you so choose.

Even a rock can sink, but only the most buoyant of mind can float.

Rise above,
Amanda :)

Collar: Ann Taylor (out of stock; similar style ON SALE here).  Top: ON SALE at Banana Republic.  Pants: ON SALE at Banana Republic.  Shoes: H&M (old).

All photos by Eric Pan.

Tell Me About Myself

We're all bent on getting our own answers in a world fraught with questions and the remedies others impose on us.  To be certain, we are hungry for answers both about our own psychology and about the individual thoughts and ideas that underly it.  

At the same time, while most of our questions certainly trace back to our own brains alone, we tend to seek solutions primarily from other sources, such as family, friends, journals, or daytime TV.  One long-trusted window into our inner workings is the beloved Personality Test.

Perhaps a product of an underlying feeling that personal intuitions about ourselves must be false or that a better psychological expert exists, our desire to grab at others' explanations of our unique behavior appears somewhat fishy.

This is not to say that partaking of external psychological help or insight of any kind is fruitless.  On the contrary, my personality reading of ISFJ (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) was pretty nearly right on, especially considering there were 16 available options.

It's true, I am "very supportive," "loyal and hardworking," "imaginative and observant."  And I can let my perhaps excessive altruism and tendency to overload myself get the best of me sometimes.  But what isn't true is that I define myself solely by these and like characteristics. 

I would never describe myself as a "sentinel," constantly keeping watch on the sidelines of the doers and winners in life.  While I may be more cautious and hesitant in forming my words and entering a new environment relative to others, I am most definitely a go-getter in my own right, most notably at times when I approach a friend who needs a hand or take the initiative in the oft-terrifying internship search. :)  Particularly devoid of any sort of standard measure for comparison as to "how comfortable you are at the center of attention" or "how flexible you are," this and most other tests of inner soul are inherently flawed.

As much as I enjoy quantifying and structuring abstractions to the best of my ability, personality is not a stable measure, but a dynamic phenomenon that we can never fully measure at all.

So next time anyone tells you, "You'll never make it as a lawyer because you're too sensitive" or "You'll never understand my feelings because you're too analytical," go ahead and tell them the only label you're espousing is that of an open mind, a forgiving heart, and venturing spirit.  It's survival of the fittest, baby, so while you're over there counting your problems, I'll be here deleting mine.

Stay humble and warm out there, everyone!

Amanda :)

Fur pullover: ON SALE at Banana Republic.  Pants: Currently 40% off with Code ENJOY at Ann Taylor. :) Bag: Michael Kors (old).  Shoes: H&M (old).

All photos by Eric Pan.